Tag Archive | "Islam"

Holy SMS

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Holy SMS

Posted on 16 January 2010 by PakBee - Total hits: 4,361

Pakistanis love emailing and text messaging quotes from hadiths and assorted religious paraphernalia. I usually ignore such messages because in my mind I imagine a holy punter who is convinced that each email or SMS of his is getting him that much closer to booking a cosy place in heaven. The truth is that this (albeit irritating) activity is actually better than a holy bum blowing himself up in public to find that same place in Paradise.

However, last Monday, as I again received my share of emails and SMSes quoting hadith and citing all that sophomoric stuff about ‘scientific proofs in the Qu’ran,’ I decided to answer one particular SMS; one I was receiving for the umpteenth time.

This is how it went: Munafiq ki Nishaanian (signs of the hypocrite) – Jhoot bolna (telling lies); Wa’da khilafi karna (breaking promises); Khiyanat karma (stealing); Gaali dayna (swearing).

So I replied: Sir/Madman, thank you for your SMS. But I think you forgot one more sign of being a munafiq, i.e. khaali khuli kay SMS karna (sending aimless SMSes).

Right away the sender SMSed his/her reply: SMS technology wasn’t invented when the hadith were compiled. So you can’t say SMSing is a sign of being a munafiq.

He/she quite obviously missed out on my sarcasm. No matter, I thought. At once, I SMSed him/her my reply: Brother/Sister, in that case, I am sure SMSing is haraam. In future I think you should use a pigeon to send your wonderful messages, or better, bring good tidings on a camel.

There was silence for about 10 minutes. Then my phone buzzed again. He/She replied: I am female, so you can call me sister. I sense that you are making fun of my SMS. Very unfortunate, indeed. What was it that you found offensive in my SMS?

I wrote back: Sister. You can call me Nadeem. There was nothing offensive in it, as such. I just wondered what made you the one to tell everybody else what a munafiq is. Are you suggesting you are not one yourself? If not, then do share with me the signs and nishaanian of a person who thinks he or she is not a munafiq.

My phone buzzed again. This was her reply: Bhai, I was just spreading a good saying. I am not an angel, but at least I am conscious of avoiding things that can make one a munafiq. I send the SMS to many people, and most of them were happy and thankful.

“Did they have a choice?” I wrote back. “You don’t even know me. SMSing unrelated men. A very un-Islamic thing to do, no?”

“Dear, brother,” she SMSed, “I can’t see you, and neither can you see me. You are calling me sister, and I am referring to you as brother.”

“Sister,” I wrote, “You speak well … in parables. Should I read your SMS metaphorically or literally?”

“Brother,” she relied, “my SMS was only about good, clear advice. Read it as it is.”

“But why bring religion into it?” I wrote back. “Can’t an irreligious person be good as well; or can’t he or she too give good, clear advice?”

The phone beeped again: “Brother, I can’t understand how a person can be irreligious.”

“Sister,” I replied, “An irreligious person is as much a human being as a religious person. What’s the confusion?”

“Are you irreligious?” She wrote back.

“What do you think?” I replied.

“I think you are,” she wrote.

“I see. If you think I am irreligious, does SMSing me make you a munafiq?” I wrote back.

“No,” she replied. “Maybe my SMS will make you rediscover God.”

“Rediscover God through an SMS?” I replied. “How very tech-savvy of you, dear sister.”

“So are you irreligious or not?” she asked.

“What if I was?” I replied.

Bang came another advice: “A man without God is like a fish without water!”

“Dear sister,” I wrote back. “How expectantly presumptuous of you. Are you also suggesting that the Taliban who also claim to believe in God are better than an irreligious person who may be a lot less violent?”

“They are not Muslims!” she replied.

“Oh? And how is that?” I wrote.

“They are non-Muslims being paid to bring disrepute to Islam,” she replied.

“And how do you know that, dear sister?”

“It’s obvious. No Muslim would kill another Muslim.” she wrote back.

“But it’s okay if he kills a non-Muslim?” I replied.

“Yes, if he is attacked by a non-Muslim.”

“So,” I wrote, “this should mean that the Taliban who are killing Americans in Afghanistan are Muslim, but the Taliban who are killing Muslims in Pakistan are non-Muslims being paid by kafirs?”

“Yes,” came the reply.

“Dear sister,” I wrote back, “you just presented yourself to be a glaring example of a munafiq! Jazaak Allah. I now truly understand.”

“You have no right to say that,” she replied. “You are not even a Muslim!”

“Did I say that I wasn’t?” I wrote.

“No, but it’s obvious.”

“How come everything is so obvious to you?” I replied.

“That’s because I am a fish with water,” she wrote, with a smiley face.

“Oh, you got that wrong, sister.” I wrote. “You are a fresh water fish stuck in salt water!”

“Well, in that case, sorry to bother you. Have to go. My credit is running out,” she replied.

“Oh, boy,” I wrote. “How can a good, honest, non-munafiq spreader of Islam not have what all good, honest, non-munafiq spreader of Islam should have?”

“And what is that?” She replied.

“A post-paid connection.”

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It’s the Indians, Stupid!

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It’s the Indians, Stupid!

Posted on 30 November 2009 by PakBee - Total hits: 2,541

It seems a near consensus has been reached by all the major political parties in Pakistan, except the MQM, that India is aiding the Taliban in Swat and Waziristan.

In a press conference today ANP leader and NWFP Chief Minister Ameer Hoti joined the fine group of Pakistani political leaders who have blamed India for the Taliban problem. This came after reports in the Pakistani media that Fazlullah had managed to escape safe and sound and was now residing peacefully in Afghanistan. It is indeed hard to fathom how the NWFP govt. could have possibly prevented Fazlullah from escaping when the Indians are fully behind him.

The list of fine Pakistani political leaders who blame India for the Taliban problem also includes the PPP leader and current Interior Minister Rehman Malik. ‘We have solid evidence that not only in Balochistan but India is involved in almost every terrorist act in Pakistan,’ said the Interior Minister. Yikes! Indians are behind almost every terrorist act? Well, then the minister must know who the culprits are that carried out the attack on the Sri Lankan cricket team. It would be wonderful if he could share this information with the public so we could, maybe, catch them.

JI chief Munawar Hassan is not only one of those fine politicians blaming India, but he also believes that America are to blame for the security situation in Pakistan. While launching the ‘Go America Go’ drive aimed at ending US intervention in the country’s internal affairs he said that the Taliban had not attacked the GHQ, rather, India and the United States were directly behind the attack. Please note that the JI’s current ‘Go! America Go!’ drive aimed at ending American interference in Pakistan is not to be confused with JI’s ‘Go! America Go!’ drive in the 1980’s aimed at increasing American influence in Pakistan.

It is not yet known what evidence these incredible claims are based on, besides of course, Munawar Hassan’s beard. Yes, its true, Munawar Hassan’s beard is proof of American and Indian interference in Pakistan. How could it possibly get so long and lush without CIA and RAW support?

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Khuda Zameen Se Gaya Nahin Hai

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Khuda Zameen Se Gaya Nahin Hai

Posted on 19 November 2009 by PakBee - Total hits: 9,872

Terrorism is one catastrophe that destroys our country really badly. After a long time we will be able to watch a Drama that will be based on reality of terrorism and its devastations, Khuda Zameen se Gaya Nahin Hai, a TV2 Production. This new Drama serial is about the War on Terror. It’s a Story of spectacular courage in the face of terror. The story revolves around the Pak Army’s daring hawks that fight to clean their country from terrorism and during the course they lost their lives. It’s a story of Hopes, Courage and Sacrifice. The story highlights different aspects like killing of foreigners, rapes and abuses of women including the main issue of terrorism. The skillful pen of Asghar Nadeem Syed wrote the whole story of this mega drama serial. The Director Kashif Nisar puts his best in exploring this sensitive issue.

Khuda Zameen Se Gaya Nahin

Most recently the Title song and video is being launched. After listening to the melodious song and striking lyrics I must say that it surely will revive the Spirit of Islam. A very well written song by Imran Raza and skillfully sung by Rahat Fatah Ali Khan it will surely leave its mark on the mind of listeners. The song starts with a very catchy stanza,

Hey Surkh Mausam, Ghata Nahin hai

Ghuttan Bohat hai, Hawa Nahin hai

The melody, the lyrics, and the voice everything is just perfect to me. The video of the song itself tells you the whole story.

Talking about the cast of the drama, it a combination of some old and new faces. It includes Nouman Ejaz, Aisha Khan, Ayub Khosa, Syed Jibran, Sara Chaudhry, Rashid Naz, Tipu, Khurram, Azim Sajjad. The new faces that are introduced are Zaman Armaghan Hazir, Captain Zishan Ali Malik, and Faizan Khawaja.

The message is of Peace, Freedom and Mutual Respect and I hope this message will spread all around the country with the help of this great presentation by CSR.

The drama will be aired on Every Sunday at 7:45pm on PTV Home starting from the first week of October.

Download link to High Quality Video:

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